The-younger-generation-should-have-sense-when-it-comes-to-marriage-proposals-engagement
September 7, 2020 | News
THE YOUNGER GENERATION SHOULD HAVE SENSE WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE PROPOSALS ENGAGEMENT
I was intrigued by a recent online video that went viral, of a man who took his fiancée to a public place to propose to her. But as he brought out the engagement ring and asked the lady if she would marry him, the said fiancée stood in bemusement staring at her fiancé and then sideways at the onlookers, and replied with another question, asking why the fiance was standing to propose to her instead of kneeling down to do so. For the fiancée, to propose without kneeling down was a “disgrace and public embarrassment” to her, but for the guy, he loved her, and kneeling down to propose had nothing to do with the love he has for her, or the fact that he wants to marry her.
You needed to read some of the heated discussions and arguments this incident has generated online amongst our younger generation. And I can't help but wonder how this generation have completely ignored the substance and content of what the marriage union is all about, but rather prefers to focus more on the euphoria and fantasy of marriage proposal and engagements.
In my candid opinion, the idea of a man kneeling down before a woman to propose is not only UNGODLY but also 'UNAFRICAN'. I do not think that there is any religion that encourages a husband-to-be, to deliberately kneel down before his prospective wife-to-be in public. During our Urhobo African marriage for instance, a wife-to-be is the one that kneels down before her husband-to-be, and this has been the culture of most African tribes.
The problem we now have is that our younger generation have allowed American Hollywood and Nigerian Nollywood movies to infiltrate their minds with this foreign introduced practice of a marriage proposal, where the man is expected to kneel down before his fiancee. This practice was never in our culture, and it was never African. It is a White man's concept of romance during a relationship intended to move to the next level of marriage. Here in Africa, and in our Nigerian cultures, it is alien for a man to kneel down to propose to a woman.
I also believe that our education system, and even the press need to re-educate the Nigerian youths of today on what Courtship and Marriage are all about. And how they need to focus on the substance of what should make a marriage successful, rather than concentrate on fantasies and foreign practices that are alien to our cultures, and which do not really guarantee a successful marriage. In the Holy Book of the Bible, Adam was created by God first and then formed Eve from the ribs of Adam, as his HELPER. In the same Holy Book, Sarah called Abraham my LORD. And even in the marriage union, the man was admonished to love the wife, while the woman was admonished to be humble and respect her husband. How come this has been turned upside down, and the man is now expected to kneel down before his wife-to-be in public, before his marriage proposal will be taken seriously? Why have we allowed the white man's way of 'watering down' our African once-held core values and morals, to become the norm today? This should not be.
We seriously need to re-educate our youths on this matter. That a man should love and respect his wife-to-be, does not mean or equate that the man should deliberately kneel down to propose to his fiancee in public, before his love and proposal would be taken seriously. What is required in having a successful marriage IS LOVE, TRUST, HONESTY, OPENNESS AND most importantly, THE FEAR OF GOD; for the couple to build a solid family. All the other things like the proposal, the wedding ceremony and even the honeymoon, should not take preeminence, or considered more important, or regarded as the substance that should determine a successful marriage. I am simply trying to make common sense in all of this.
Zik Gbemre,
August 15,2020
We Mobilize Others To Fight For Individual Causes As If Those Were Our Causes
I was intrigued by a recent online video that went viral, of a man who took his fiancée to a public place to propose to her. But as he brought out the engagement ring and asked the lady if she would marry him, the said fiancée stood in bemusement staring at her fiancé and then sideways at the onlookers, and replied with another question, asking why the fiance was standing to propose to her instead of kneeling down to do so. For the fiancée, to propose without kneeling down was a “disgrace and public embarrassment” to her, but for the guy, he loved her, and kneeling down to propose had nothing to do with the love he has for her, or the fact that he wants to marry her.
You needed to read some of the heated discussions and arguments this incident has generated online amongst our younger generation. And I can't help but wonder how this generation have completely ignored the substance and content of what the marriage union is all about, but rather prefers to focus more on the euphoria and fantasy of marriage proposal and engagements.
In my candid opinion, the idea of a man kneeling down before a woman to propose is not only UNGODLY but also 'UNAFRICAN'. I do not think that there is any religion that encourages a husband-to-be, to deliberately kneel down before his prospective wife-to-be in public. During our Urhobo African marriage for instance, a wife-to-be is the one that kneels down before her husband-to-be, and this has been the culture of most African tribes.
The problem we now have is that our younger generation have allowed American Hollywood and Nigerian Nollywood movies to infiltrate their minds with this foreign introduced practice of a marriage proposal, where the man is expected to kneel down before his fiancee. This practice was never in our culture, and it was never African. It is a White man's concept of romance during a relationship intended to move to the next level of marriage. Here in Africa, and in our Nigerian cultures, it is alien for a man to kneel down to propose to a woman.
I also believe that our education system, and even the press need to re-educate the Nigerian youths of today on what Courtship and Marriage are all about. And how they need to focus on the substance of what should make a marriage successful, rather than concentrate on fantasies and foreign practices that are alien to our cultures, and which do not really guarantee a successful marriage. In the Holy Book of the Bible, Adam was created by God first and then formed Eve from the ribs of Adam, as his HELPER. In the same Holy Book, Sarah called Abraham my LORD. And even in the marriage union, the man was admonished to love the wife, while the woman was admonished to be humble and respect her husband. How come this has been turned upside down, and the man is now expected to kneel down before his wife-to-be in public, before his marriage proposal will be taken seriously? Why have we allowed the white man's way of 'watering down' our African once-held core values and morals, to become the norm today? This should not be.
We seriously need to re-educate our youths on this matter. That a man should love and respect his wife-to-be, does not mean or equate that the man should deliberately kneel down to propose to his fiancee in public, before his love and proposal would be taken seriously. What is required in having a successful marriage IS LOVE, TRUST, HONESTY, OPENNESS AND most importantly, THE FEAR OF GOD; for the couple to build a solid family. All the other things like the proposal, the wedding ceremony and even the honeymoon, should not take preeminence, or considered more important, or regarded as the substance that should determine a successful marriage. I am simply trying to make common sense in all of this.
Zik Gbemre,
August 15,2020
We Mobilize Others To Fight For Individual Causes As If Those Were Our Causes